Don’t Take It Personally

“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others,

you won’t be the victim of needless suffering”

Miguel Ruiz

What Do You Mean Don’t Take It Personally?

We often her the common phrase, don’t take it personally. When the man on the highway cuts us off, we try to say, he is just having a bad day. When our spouse comes home crabby from work, we try to remind ourselves, they had a hard day at work. But the truth is it affects us. They say don’t take it personally but it impacts us on a personal level. How do we handle the way others affect us?

We can try to scold the reckless driver or console the crabby spouse. However, by doing this we take on the responsibility for their actions and emotions. We have our hands full with our own self-regulation, we should not take one the issues of others, until we are strong enough in our own path to handle the additional weight.

How Do They Feel

When we encounter these types of situations, it helps to remember how far we have come and where that person might be in their journey. Are they still unconsciously drifting through life? Are the frustrated by their lack of fulfillment and bogged down by low self-esteem? Do they yearn for validation and recognition of their value? Do you remember what it felt like when we were in that place? It was awful, wasn’t it? Do you remember searching, hoping and begging for relief? Do you remember the feeling of near desperation for something to give, for one small ounce of relief from the pain?

If we can remember how it felt, we will find compassion. They don’t need to be scolded, they need a hug. When we can feel compassion for them, we negate the impact of their actions. We can look at them, see through their pain and know they have value and a purpose. This can also create a sense of gratitude for what we have achieved and a loving feeling for all of humanity who deserves the same experiences. If the opportunity arises, call attention to something they do well, if the situation does not call for it. Be authentic and genuine, don’t force it. This is where the term “kill them with kindness” resonates.   Everyone has value to add and deserves happiness and fulfillment.

The Goal

The goal is to focus on their abilities and create positive emotions to counter balance the negativity. It may just be a glimmer of light pointing the way to first lesson they need to learn to move down their path to fulfillment. The word is spreading and people are starting to realize, life doesn’t have to be hard. Life can be beautiful, fun and happy… for everyone. It’s a domino effect. More and more people are starting to wake up with a genuine enthusiasm for life. It is contagious! And as a result, they treat each other better, which leads to more collaboration and an amplification of momentum. Positive energy momentum which can be used towards many great things, which will in turn make the world a better place for all of us. The success of the whole is dependent on the success of each individual.

Balance

As usual, sharing what we have learned requires balance. No one likes a know it all. The goal is to suitably point out others strengths and natural abilities. We are trying to pepper in positivity and it can be done with something as simple as a smile or asking someone’s name. Look for small opportunities to offer validation to the people you encounter on a daily basis. Say thank you to Saanvi who works at the local gas station, for her unwavering smiling at 6am every morning. Your acknowledgement of their existence is invaluable to them and free for you to give. The good news is the solution to all of our problems don’t cost a single dime. We have the power to give peace, joy and happiness, both to ourselves and to other freely. All we need is already inside us, we just have to tap into it.

Minding Our Own Business

We do have to be careful not to spend too much energy on what other people are doing. Once we have shared what we can, it is important to go on about our business. In the work place, people can be focused more on what the person next to them is doing, than they are on what they themselves are doing. Significant mental exertion is spent on worrying that the other person might get ahead or fearing they themselves might fall behind. It’s like the marathon runner who runs 75% of the race looking over his shoulder. Really? Why are we so worried about what other people are doing? Why do we measure ourselves against each other? We will never be them, and we will never be satisfied by the same things they are. So what’s the point? What are you trying to get out of it and how can you fulfill that need through a more productive channel?

The truth is, their choices and actions have nothing to do with us. In fact it’s a bit self-centered to think that they do. We should be focused on what we need to do and allow them to do the same. No one can tell you what is best for you, nor should we think that we know what is best for someone else. There can be no judgment because we do not have a clue what their motivations or intentions are. It’s none of our business. If they want our opinion they will ask for it. Until that time, we need to focus on taking care of our own. You take care of yours and I will take care of mine.

So let us give freely that which is good and suffer not the indignance of others.

Hope you’re having a Great day! Sending love and light.

Your Humble Servant ,

Rejka